Thank you, thank you, thank you to the fine men and women who thought to record episodes of USA Up All Night, the most important pop culture blip on the radar of my development as an artist.
Without USA Up All Night I might have very easily ended up as a dentist or an accountant living in Omaha or some place.
It's brilliant to edit out anything not Rhonda, by the way. Incidentally, I remember this exact episode, which was my introduction to both H.O.T.S. and Surf Nazis Must Die, both classic American films (even if the latter doesn't live up to its amazing title).
I wonder where Rhonda, the great American, is today.
Who on god's green earth hasn't wanted to hug a panda?
Pandas are over it, y'all. They don't need you to patronize them anymore. The next tweaked out Asian that tries to hug a panda will get straight up chomped on the damn cheek, just like this fool was.
Word to the wise: now you are the one who is endangered.
I've been really sick for a few days now... just in time for the holidays! This happens every single year, without fail.
I'm starting to get really excited for Christmas. I'm retarded about Christmas, and it's taking every ounce of energy I have to not ignore Thanksgiving entirely and put up my damn tree. Soon I'll start watching all the Christmas classics, like Gremlins.
I've already started listening to my Christmas jams on my i-pod. I love Father Christmas by The Kinks and Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. I was holding back vomit and watching youtube when I came across this philistine, this anti-josh, who decided to make a video about why Christmas Wrapping is one of the most annoying Christmas songs ever.
W.
T.
F?
He makes so many mistakes.
Firstly, don't ever belittle I Know What Boys Like. Put simply, it's a masterpiece and only serves as an example of why it's a travesty that The Waitresses didn't enjoy more success. Anybody who knows anything about New Wave will tell you that their albums were uniformly good and the fact that they went unnoticed speaks only to the stupidity of the American people. Okay, only I would tell you that, but still...
Then (for the love of god) he goes on to toss my beloved Square Pegs aside with a little remark, as if it isn't the most under appreciated television show of all time. I know some people would make an argument for My So-Called Life, but Angela Chase never had a New Wave themed bat mitzvah with musical guest Devo, did she? No. She did not.
Then, so help me sweet jesus, he goes on to call Sarah Jessica Parker a horse face. This is one of my pet peeves. I loathe, loathe, loathe straight dudes talking trash about Sarah Jessica Parker's appearance. I'm no great fan or anything, but it bothers me when dudes just completely expose their ugly mysogyny like that.
The Boyfriend and I recently had a long talk about the women that men like and the women that women (and gays) like. There is a world of difference between Pamela Anderson and Audrey Hepburn, between Carmen Electra and Jackie O. Personally, I would go with the ladies' choice on this one.
Oh yeah, and speaking of philistines, I wrote another letter to Ron Prentice. I'll post it later.
I know it's being posted a lot on various blogs, but it needs repeating on the off chance you haven't seen this miracle of VHS tape. I know I say this at least once a week, but this truly is the most aesthetically pleasing four minutes you could spend.
I was really nervous to read my new ten-minute play at the Youngblood meeting last night. It was my first time sharing with the group, so I didn't know what to expect. Also, I'm a little sensitive about the subject matter, so I was afraid reading it aloud would send me over the edge and I would have to have an ugly cry in front of everybody. Luckily, everybody liked it and gave me incredibly useful feedback. I love Youngblood!
A Super Shiny Precious Thing is about a poor, gay Brooklyn couple on Christmas morning exchanging presents (they've set a ten dollar maximum). Just when Noel thinks they've exchanged the last gift and it's time to prepare the Christmas beans and rice, his boyfriend presents him with an extraordinary gift that calls into question their relationship and their future together.
I wrote it, in part, for Ronnie Bear. I'll be sending him a copy today, complete with a disclaimer written on gorgeous stationary, obviously. I sent him the copy I wrote notes on last night. I just thought it was more personal that way.
You can read the note and the play (though not quite a finished draft) here:
Even though Ron Prentice and I are super close now, it never occurred to me to look him up on youtube. What a dummy I am! Watching this video of Ronnie being interviewed really endeared him even closer to my tar heart. Look at those rosy cheeks! Those twinkling eyes! Ron Prentice is adorable! Why, he's like a little teddy bear!
Anyway, if you'd like to read the letter I wrote to Ron today about the staff cuts Jesus made (Oral Roberts University now too!) then click on the link:
Super anti-gay organization Focus on the Family has announced it will lay off an estimated 20 percent of its work force after spending $600,000 into banning gay marriage in California.
Hmm.
While I'd never cheer for families going hungry, I hope that while these laid off workers are shopping for discount Vienna Sausages at Wal-Mart they will feel some sense of achievement about the fact that loving couples they've never even met have been relegated to second-class citizenship. Again.
The Management's next show opens December 4th! In sharp contrast to our last show, The Chalk Boy, we are producing The Scandal!, a one woman show written by Kristin Kosmas, whose play, Hello Failure, you may have seen at PS 122.
Here is a synopsis:
A small town gal,
Pink, has devised the perfect, poetic suicide plan. Her journey is
complicated by a distant mother, a judgmental entourage, the ghost of
her father, and a mysterious newcomer. In a world so small, everyone is
hungry for a scandal.
If that doesn't get your attention, how about this arty teaser filmed in the desert?
It's like a perfume ad!
Also, we're accepting submissions for our 2009 Salon series. The 2008 series has been a massive success and we'd love to have submissions from you. Be sure to see our last salon in December, a reading of Addoloratta by Gian DiDonna.
The gayest weekend ever kicked off with Out Magazine's "Out 100 Party" on Friday, an event for which hilariously enormous gold invitations were given out a few weeks ago. Once I got into the super long line that snaked around the block in either direction I could tell at once that I was under dressed.
QUEEN BEHIND ME: Oh my God, I'm so glad I decided not to wear jeans. I'd be, like, the only one.
Yes, I was wearing jeans, but cute black jeans with a dress shirt, beatle boots, a vintage cardigan, and an Yves Saint Laurent blazer. I thought I represented the Williamsburg gays well, as everybody else looked kind of corporate. anyway, I waited in line for thirty minutes. Note: this is the longest I've ever voluntarily waited in a line that long. Eventually somebody I know got me a V.I.P. bracelet and I was whisked inside to the chagrin of a thousand angry queens.
The ballroom was very elegant and I've never seen so many attractive people. The were performances by Cirque du Soleil, Nikka Costa, Sam Sparro, and the reunion of LaBelle! Chelsea Handler was also on hand as a very charming announcer.
It was a lovely evening with free booze, almost no food, discomforting classism, and gift bags! Hooray! I only wish I'd eaten dinner (or that there had been food), because I threw up the next morning before the big protest! I was there in attendance with The Management, and it was such a lovely day. I loved how the double decker tour buses would pass and you could see the reactions of the people inside. Some gave a thumbs up or waved, some scowled and looked away, others took photos or footage of the gays to take back to Omaha or wherever. It was a peaceful protest, and I felt wonderful about being there while knowing my brothers and sisters were also protesting in every major city in America.
Really quickly... is anybody else noticing that the media isn't covering these protests very much and when they do they under estimate the number of protesters present? Is it just me?
Last nights I dried up and watched The Boys in the Band, the dvd of which I'd received in my gift bag at the Out 100 Party. It is the best gay movie I've ever seen, bar none. From the script to the acting to William Friedkin's direction, The Boys in the Band alternately hilarious and gut wrenching, but always true to life. The fact that it came out in 1970 is shocking to me. Hell, it would be shocking to me if it came out in 2008. We just don't make movies that honest. Also, it has awesome opening credits. I must have that 70's version of "Anything Goes". Seriously, look how hot it is:
It's like the inside of my brain.
Also, I wrote a letter to Ron Prentice today, who is being SUCH an asshole this week. You can read it, and see the glorious unicorn stationary it is written on, here:
