Tarhearted.

MISS CALIFORNIA, UM, THINKS GAYS ARE UNEQUAL. NO OFFENSE!

Social conservatives (like hog fart Maggie Gallagher) are practically chewing at the bit to make Miss California the super tanned leather face of their anti-marriage equality movement. Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton (a judge at the pageant) posed the question: "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

Constitutional scholar Carrie Prejean responded: ”Well, I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what? In my country and in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think that it should be, between a man and a woman. Thank you.”

Ugh.

What Prejean so blithely ignores is the fact that we actually CANNOT choose same sex marriage in America. That's the whole problem, see, that mental midgets like herself, emboldened by their antiquated religious dogma, have seen fit to marginalize an entire group of people into second class citizenship. No offense!

Why do we continue to ask these girls anything at all? It's so depressing.

REVIEWS ARE COMING IN! SEE "CAITLIN AND THE SWAN"

The roller coaster of my life in theater is getting fast and faster and I'm beginning to become exhausted by it. The reviews of The Management's new show, Caitlin and the Swan, have begun to come in and (knock on wood) are unanimously positive. You can read them here and here and here and here. Working with the playwright, Dorothy Fortenberry, and this cast has been one of the most fulfilling experiences in recent memory.

 

On the not-so-good side of things, my home computer crashed and I lost a ton of work. My new play, MilkMilkLemonade, is having a work shop by The Pavement Group in Chicago this weekend (I'm flying out to work on it too) and I lost all of my recent rewrites. I also have a brunch piece for Youngblood that I have to rewrite from memory by tomorrow and a piece for The Drafts that I have to retype and do revisions on by tomorrow. The boyfriend had to hold me as I wept and wept.

I saw a wonderful reading of Eliza Clark's Recall at Manhattan Theatre Club last night and I was so proud that she is my friend and colleague. It's a remarkable play and I hope that some brave theater will produce it soon. Well played, Ms. Clark!

On another not-so-good note, I got rejected yesterday from something I really wanted to do. I won't say any more than that, but it really sucks getting rejected and I much as I try to shrug it off it's still difficult. Lately I've been feeling like theater is art for rich people made by other rich people. I shouldn't have to get an MFA from the Ivy League to get anywhere in this business, but time after time I knock on the door of the legitimate theater and the legitimate theater says "go away." Blech.

Now I'm depressed. I should shut the fuck up and enjoy my positive reviews. As i said to the cast of The Chalk Boy, "the only people who don't like this play are ugly or stupid." That remains true.

Here look at this:

SENATOR RUBIN DIAZ, SR. CAN SUCK MY DICK.

Not that he would. He hates gays, let alone their filthy oral sex!

A matter of hours after Governor Patterson announced he would introduce legislation to legalize marriage equality in New York, this dick wad says he'll organize a protest against teh gays in alliance with the new Catholic figurehead of bigotry in New York, Timmy Dolan.

Says The New York Daily News: "Diaz, a Pentecostal minister, blasted Paterson for introducing the measure during Passover and a day after city Catholics welcomed new Archbishop Timothy Dolan. 'It's a slap in the face,' Diaz said.  Dolan also promised to fight Paterson's proposal."

A slap in the face? You know what's a slap in the face? Not being a full citizen in your own mother fucking country even though you were born there and pay taxes there. THAT is a slap in the face. A slap in the face is being committed to somebody you love deeply and constantly having to "make your case" to people who feel  their religion based ignorance warrants their extreme bigotry. Now let's all have some Matzo and grow the fuck up.

Ruben Diaz, you are a bigot and the enemy of progress.

FUCK. OFF.

"CAITLIN AND THE SWAN" OPENS TONIGHT.

Buy your tickets here or just show up at the door. Thursdays are pay-what-you-can night!

Caitlin and the Swan tells the story of a frustrated SAT tutor, her animal-loving friends, and their powerful attractions to the forbidden. Inspired by the Greek myth of Leda and the Swan, this play explores feminism, bestiality, and the twisted links between pain and love.

Written by Dorothy Fortenberry, Directed by Joshua Conkel

Equity approved showcase featuring Jake Aron, Brian Robert Burns*, Elliott Reiland, Marguerite French*, Shetal Shah*, and Teresa Stephenson *appearing courtesy of Actors’ Equity

April 16-May 2
Thursdays-Saturdays @ 8pm

Location: UNDER St. Marks
94 St. Marks, btwn 1st Ave & Ave A

Also, check out some of our press:

We're featured on the Youngblog and on the Neighborbee blog. Also, you can hear yours truly interviewed on Broadway Bullet.

TEA BAGGING REPUBLICANS.

Has anybody been reading about the Republicans holding national Tea Bag parties on tax day? I got invited to this event in Seattle (I live in Brooklyn) via Facebook and I'm ashamed to admit I let my passion overtake me and immediately posted on the event's wall that everybody attending was retarded and how it isn't necessarily "socialism" to want a more equitable tax distribution, better infrastructure, and to no longer be the only first world country without any healthcare to speak of. Needless to say, they were not impressed. I was immediately met with comments stating I was confused about the meanings of Capitalism and Socialism (I'm not) and pleas to study my Russian History (I have).

It seems like they're planning to gather in cities and towns all across the country and wave tea bags at each other in protest of... um... I'm not sure what exactly. Presumably they're protesting the stimulus package, but that's already passed. And I guess they're against "socialism"? It seems ironic to me to protest Socialism at nationally funded parks and public areas then. Are they just protesting Obama? Like, the man himself? I'm not sure. Anyway, nice Boston Tea Party reference!

I do enjoy that none of the fine fiscal conservatives seem to be aware of the popular definition of tea bagging, which always makes me think of Martha Plimpton as the fag hag bar tendress in Pecker.

"No teabagging!" 

Here is a visual image for you to live with:

GLAMOROUS VERMONT.

I didn't have time to write yesterday, but by now you must all know that both houses of beautiful Vermont's legislature voted to ignore their a-hole Governor Jim Doulas (who vetoed) and legalize marriage equality.

HUZZAH!

One step closer to equality for all Americans and release from the col, cold talons of religious tyranny.

To honor Vermont, some trivia:

1. Vermont was the first state admitted to the Union after the ratification of the Constitution.
    
2. With a population of fewer than nine thousand people, Montpelier, Vermont is the smallest state capital in the U.S.
    
3. Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
    
4. In ratio of cows to people, Vermont has the greatest number of dairy cows in the country.
    
5. Montpelier, Is the largest producer of maple syrup in the U.S.
    
6. Vermont's largest employer isn't Ben and Jerry's, it's IBM.
    
7. Until recently, the only way a Vermonter could get a drivers license with their photo on it was to drive to Montpelier.
    
8. Vermont was, at various times, claimed by both New Hampshire and New York.
    
9. Until 1996, Vermont was the only state without a Wal-Mart.
    
10. Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream company gives their ice cream waste to the local Vermont farmers who use it to feed their hogs. The hogs seem to like all of the flavors except Mint Oreo.
     
11. Rudyard Kipling, living in Vermont in the 1890's invented the game of snow golf.
     
12. Vermont does not sell alcohol to out of state licenses, you must have a liquor ID in order to purchase alcohol at liquor stores and grocery stores. This doesn't apply to bars, but can affect those traveling through the state.
     
13. U.S. President Calvin Coolidge was the only president born on the fourth of July. Born in Plymouth 7/4/1872.
     
14. Vermont's state capitol building is one of only a few to have a gold dome. Atop the dome is a statue of Ceres.

R.I.P. JACK WRANGLER.

Legendary gay porn actor, Jack Wrangler, passed away yesterday at the age of 62. If you don't know who Jack is, he was a child actor turned 1970s gay porn star, turned 1980s straight porn star, turned New York theater creator and star. Though his choices often seemed strange to the public, like marrying the much older chanteuse Margaret Whiting (and then staying married to her for the rest of his life all the while maintaining that he was a gay man) he lived his life as authentically as he could.

This should have been all over the news. I feel mortified that i only read it today.

He will be missed.

Goodbye, Jack! You were too beautiful for this world!

GLAMOROUS IOWA.

Iowa's Supreme Court struck down a ban on gay marriage today, ruling it unconstitutional. Richard Bey would have put an "a-duh" sound effect right there. This is wonderful news! I further appreciate the ruling for recognizing that there is no secular reason to deny gays and lesbians the right to marry and that banning it to begin with is 1) religious bigotry and 2) a violation of the separation between church and state.

Thanks for not being dicks, Iowa Justices!

Right wing crazies to go bananas in 3. 2. 1...

SUPER IMPORTANT RICHARD BEY NEWS.

How thrilled am I that talk show legend Richard Bey has a cameo in the upcoming film, Bruno? SO EXCITED.

During the 1990's I obsessively watched The Richard Bey Show during the summer while I ate Ramen, drank Mountain Dew,  and smoked cigarettes in my basement. Jerry Springer's show just doesn't compare in my mind.

I especially liked this show's use of sound effects to humiliate fat people and mock gays. FABULOUS!

Gorgeous.