Tarhearted.

BONERVILLE.

Hey, you. Yeah, you! Do you like pancakes, never ending Bloody Marys, and sexy ten minute plays? Sure you do. I could tell. That's why I'm inviting you to the Youngblood Bruncha Sutra this Sunday. My play is entitled Bonerville, and is the story of a fleeting intimate moment between two strangers in a rest stop men's room outside of Des Moines. It was inspired by this vintage cover art:

$18

Sunday, November 1st
doors open at 12:30pm for buffet and seating
show starts at 1pm

COME EARLY - the food and seats go fast!

RESERVATIONS REQUIRED:

call (212) 247-4982 x107

Bonerville by Joshua Conkel

Starring sexy, sexy Anthony Johnston and Frank Harts

Directed By RJ Tolan

In closing, just for fun, I submit to you Awkward Boners.

PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. IT'S A HATE CRIME.

The Bea Arthur estate left $300,000 dollars to the Ali Fornay center, which helps homeless LGBT kids. This is reason number eleventy-billion that Bea was a hep, hep chick. Thank you for being a friend, Bea. You make me want to do The Urkel.

In other gay news, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act became law today. Hooray! Hopefully the law might help prevent more gay dudes being beaten to death and left for dead, or dissuade white supremacists from dragging a black guy from the back of their truck.

I've never understood why some people don't feel hate crime laws are necessary (bigots aside.) It's no surprise of course that these people, in general, are not minorities and thusly don't spend a large portion of their time watching their backs, but that's neither here nor there. A crime is a crime, right? Violence is violence? Not so much. When you murder a dude you're committing a crime against him. When you murder a black dude because he's black, you're actually committing a symbolic crime against the entire black community. You're sending a messgae that all black people are deserving of murder. It's a form of terrorism.

AM I CRAZY? AMERICA, YOU KILL ME.

I'm really upset about this Joe Lieberman news.

Really, dude? Really?

In a lot of ways, I don't understand the health car debate in general because, in my mind, it's really quite simple. In spite of how complicated ethics and politics and so on can seem, some things really are a matter of right and wrong.

My view may seem simplistic, but letting 45,000 people die this year because they don't have insurance is wrong. Period.

Why aren't the pious Christians fighting for health care? Oh, right. They're busy stripping away civil rights. That's okay. Obama doesn't care about gay people either.

Goldman Sachs increasing its employee compensation by 46 % after a tax payer bailout is wrong, yes?

On a local level, Bloomberg is about to buy an election and nobody seems to care. Awesome!

I feel really sad about America. I thought we could do better, but maybe Bill Maher is right. Maybe we're just not a good people. Maybe we do have the government we deserve. God damn, America is right. Where is Reverend Wright when you need him? 

I keep wishing I were French.

MY STORIES.

I was looking for scenes from my favorite soap opera of all time, Passions, when I happened upon one miss NancyDrew37 and her delightful video blog. I love how dolled up she gets to film herself talking about soap operas, and I honestly think her earnestness is pretty charming. She obviously really loves her soaps (or loves to hate them.)

I've often thought that the worst part of having a day job and, let's be honest, what amounts to a full-time night job, is that i don't get to watch soaps. oh, how I miss that summer in college when I was unemployed and desperately poor when i just chain smoked in my squat and watched Passions followed by Twin Peaks* on VHS.

I wish I could be friends with NancyDrew37. We could watch the soaps together and then do lunch at The Olive Garden. Then maybe shopping at Pier 1?

Please enjoy NancyDrew37's rants on...

The Young and the Restless

The Bold and the Beautiful

And finally, Passions.

*I still think this is the best way to watch Twin Peaks for the first time...in a dark room during the middle of the day, having sent your last dollars on cigarettes instead of food.

Finally, just for fun and because it's Halloween... Marlena possessed by the devil on Days of Our Lives. This clip is the epitome of beauty.

TRANNY POWER.

Let this be a lesson to children every where... sometimes people who harass trannies on the subway get maced.

To my transgender sister I say, "get it, girl."

BOY CRISIS.

I love their name. I love their sound. I love this video that borrows footage from my favorite blog, Everything is Terrible, and I'm pretty sure I saw an image of one of my other favorite bands in it. How can one band win so hard with me?

And just look at how cute they are. I wanna play Mystery Date with them at a girl's house .

THIS CHARMING MAN COLLAPSED.

Dear God,

I don't believe in you, but if I started would you stop taking people that I love? Why do you always call the good ones home? Why not take Katy Perry or that bigot, Buju Banton? You can't have Morrissey. I'm sorry, but you just can't.

I have had a pit in my stomach about this all weekend. I seriously don't know if I can handle it. You hear me, jerk? If you take Morrissey please take me too. A world without Moz is ugly and dull.

(Get well soon, Morrissey. For the love of God, please get well soon.)

So be a pal, God. Take somebody stupid, like Mariah Carey. Or how about all of The Pussycat Dolls?

Kisses,

Tarhearted

UPDATE: Morrissey is in stable condition. that means I have a direct line to God. Any favors you want called in?

THE BITCH IS BACK.

Oh my god you guys, I am fagging out.

The BBC aired the first episode of... are you ready for this?... Joan Collins Does Glamour. I know, right? How was this not already a show? How is this not on 24 hours a day? Check it out:

I hope she slaps peopel and  pushes people into pools and stuff. God, I can't WAIT. If this isn't on BBC America when I get home, somebody will pay dearly. 

SAUCY.

Over on Parabsis there is a handy little tool that tells you who has recently commented so that you can click on a particular entry and read it. Naturally, my curiosity was peaked when I saw the following...

Recent Comments: Penis Stretching on an old post about cooking.

Naturally, I clicked through.

"That sauce is delicious!! Have you others recipes?" Clearly, Penis Stretching is a tiny British orphan a la Oliver! I clicked on Penis Stretching. It was awesome.

I know what somebody's getting for Hanukkah!

P.S. I've been spending too much time on that blog.

MUSIC RECOMMENDATION.

I can't stop listening to "Burning" by The Whitest Boy Alive.