GOD OF CARNAGE 2: MORE RICH WHITE PEOPLE.

Check this shit out. Neil Labute and Theresea Rebeck are going to write a play together, LIVE, and you get to choose the story. Here are your options:

• Ann, the CEO of a large corporation, is interviewing Steve for a job, not realizing they had a one-night stand a few years ago. Will he let her know?
• Former childhood sweethearts Jenn and Joe, now married to others, reunite at their 20th high school reunion.
• Ted and Sue meet on the Internet but now they’re taking things to the next level -- meeting in person for a “real” date.
• Surprise! Recently divorced Sandy and Ken are seated together on a six-hour flight across the country.
• Robin and Rick fall in love, then discover they’re both the product of a sperm donor -- possibly the same one
• Kristin enrolls in a figure studies class, then realizes that she knows the nude model, Ron, from church.

I choose the one that's not about boring, white*, straight people from the upper middle class. Oh, wait...

Oh. Oh, that's too bad. Is it just me or do all of these options just seem so milquetoast? I don't know. I just don't feel like watching any of these plays. Here, guys. Ima help you:

 

• Juanita,  the cleaning lady at a large corporation, is interviewing some rats for a job. not realizing they had a one-night stand a few years ago. Will he let her know?
• Former childhood sweethearts Jenn and Joe, now married to others, reunite at their 20th high school reunion where a psychotic former classmate opens fire and the couples will have to fight for their lives to survive.
• Ted and Sue, two furries, meet on the Internet but now they’re taking things to the next level -- meeting in person for a “real” furry sex date.
• Surprise! Recently transgendered Sandy and Ken are seated together on a six-hour flight across the country with bombs under their clothes.
• Robin and Rick fall in love, then discover they’re both the product of a sperm donor -- possibly the same one but realize nobody cares because they are both men and they have no rights in their shitty state.
• Kristin enrolls in a figure studies class, then realizes that she knows the Black, nude model, Ron, from harrassing him with her church chapter of the KKK. But she also has sexual feeling for him, because duh.

See? That wasn't so hard. These are way more interesting.**

 

*Bitch, you know those are some cracker ass names.

**Now I totally want to write all of these plays.

 

EDIT: I should have made it clear that these ideas did not come from the playwrights. "Mea culpa, or whatever," which will also be the title of my autobiography someday.

 

 

Comments

[Alejandro]

Those are awesome!

And all those Rebeck/LaBute plays will be produced at MCC and Roundabout next season most likely . . . starring someone from Friends.

[Aaron Andersen]

The second one is way too summer-blockbuster for my tastes.

Otherwise, I'm interested.

[kari]

Like I said on twitter....the furry play is mine. I am starting it today.

[RVCBard]

We should totes make this happen, Josh.

[Sean]

Holy shit. This is why Al Gore invented the internets.

[Isaiah Tanenbaum]

These plays need to get written.

[your fiance]

for some reason I kept reading, instead of Robin & Rick fall in love, Robin Thicke falls in love.

[Emilia]

YES.