Tarhearted.

GOVERNOR CARCIERI IS A DISGUSTING PIG.

Governor Carcieri of Rhode Island met with a gay rights group this week and said that maybe an "everything but marriage" bill was something to be considered. I don't buy it. This was a mere two days after he vetoed a harmless bill that would have added "domestic partners" to a list of people allowed to make burial decisions for the deceased. He has also given his support and money to the Massachussets Family Institute (a nice sounding name for a registered hate group) and National Organization for Marriage (which isn't registered as a hate group, but ought to be.)

That veto was a hateful, cruel, and hideous act and I have no reason to believe he would ever allow any progress for LGBT folks. Actions speak louder than words with me, so I won't be holding my breath waiting for you to make a domestic partnership bill happen.

And an "everything but marriage" law? Fuck you. I'll take advances where I can get them, but my relationship is not second to anybodys. I'm so angry about this. First California, then Maine, and now this? Fuck you all.

Let this be reminder number one billion that those saying they simply wish to "protect marriage" (as if by opening the doors to that civil right to all would somehow hurt it) are liars. The truth, under everything, is that they hate gay people, plain and simple. They don't believe we have a civil right to marriage because, fundamentally, they don't believe we have a right to exist.

Period.

Governer Carcieri, you are a hateful bigot and history will judge you accordingly.

Where is Obama and the Democratic Party on this stuff, especially now that support for ENDA is weakening? LGBT folks should no longer allow themselves to be thrown under the bus by the Democrats, who happily take our money and votes,  make all sorts of promises, and then swiftly dump us the moment it becomes convenient to do so. As far as I'm concerned the Democrats all are complicit in the discrimination of LGBT folks and should be treated accordingly.

Nor should gay people accept our fellow Americans' pitiful excuse that there are more important issues at hand like the economy or the war. Nope. No more. I am not a citizen of the country in which I was born, so I don't really give two shits about your stock portfolio. Nothing comes before my civil rights. NOTHING.

No more money. No more votes. Let the Democrats join our fight for equality or lose us.

TRANNY POWER.

Let this be a lesson to children every where... sometimes people who harass trannies on the subway get maced.

To my transgender sister I say, "get it, girl."

OBSERVE AND REPORT AND WOMEN AND STUFF.

I finally saw Observe and Report after hearing and reading so much about it. It was a hateful, disgusting, and totally depressing little comedy. I loved it! I love dark comedies, and it's rare that I see comedies that are this dark, so whenever I hear somebody mention that a particular film is a dark comedy I go running toward it. What can i say? I just like them. I have a memory of being shushed for laughing too hard in an audience full of horrified onlookers during Todd Solondz's Happiness that I will always cherish.

There was one scene in particular I was a little worried about. Some of the feminist blogs I read regularly were livid over a scene in which Ronnie (played by Seth Rogan) is fucking Brandi (God I love that name- played by brilliantly by Anna Faris) who is passed out drunk and high in a pool of her own vomit. Ronnie stops in the middle of the act to ask if she's okay and she wakes up long enough to shout, "Why'd you stop mother fucker?"

It's a totally offensive scene, to be sure, but the whole movie is hateful and offensive. And I'm not sure if it's more or less offensive in a movie that has already spent so much time setting up what an awful person Brandi is. The film seems to have a strange relationship to its female characters. All the women in the film are terrible people and not just because they're being stalked by a flasher in the mall parking lot who shouts "Touch it, slut!" and "See my dick!" at them. No, it's more that they're manipulative and wholly self-serving.

It's not like the men are spared. Every single character, including the hero, are pretty much the most pathetic, self-involved monsters you could ever imagine. The movie almost seems to be daring you to hate it. I guess that's probably why i loved it. Like John Waters' films from the 1970's, it asks you to delight in awful behavior. (It's been way too long since I've seen Female Trouble, by the way.) It's just that Brandi is especially nasty and self-serving. So why was she my favorite character?

This probably isn't very politically correct, but I wonder: do gay men hate women? Look at the women who are gay icons. They are universally over-the-top and often unkind or laughably vain. Sometimes even alcoholics or drug addicts. I wonder why that is. Do gay men idolize a strong woman and a dramatic story, or do we like laughing at train wrecks? Or is it both? The female characters in my play are often very tough and out spoken and crude while men tend to be more meek and thoughtful. Some of this is my background, as I come from a huge family of tough broads and quiet men, but that doesn't explain why I love Amy Winehouse so damn much.

In the end it seemed like the movie kind of hated Brandi, but her nasty behavior had the opposite effect on me. I rooted for her. But does my rooting for her condone movies in which women are betrayed as shallow and cruel?

I was thinking about all of this when I went to IMDB to read up on the movie. Slightly off the subject, but I don't think anybody hates women as much as this lovely IMDB commenter, who wrote the following of the controversial scene:

First I'm a PSY major so I know what I'm talking about...

Face it, girls like the Brandi character are a dime a dozen, slutty parasites like that are everywhere, and they deserve to get used for sex, most especially if they get overly drunk to the point of passing out. Let's face it, girls like that/her are no mother Teressa...Brandi was only out with the dude for free food and free booze!!! Girls like that, take and take and take...with zero consideration, they're used to having orbiters around them at their beck and call, and used to skimmin drinks and other things from guys, with zero in return...so yeah, they deserve whatever cummms to them. Besides, chicks like that tend to be pretty screwed up anyways...probably mollested as a kid, or whatever...lots of issues, and probably addicted to semen too!

Seriously, a lot of girls are addicted to semen, it's in psychology today! Check it out.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200210/crying-over-spilled-semen

SOOOO YEAH, GO RONNNNNNIIIIEEEE!!!!

Wow. Just... wow. Guess I'm off the hook.

Chin up, ladies... this dude will be your shrink some day! Just don't drink any of his jizz. You could become addicted!

Just for fun, the classic Christmas Tree scene from Female Trouble.

DON'T BE A SUCKER.

I wanted to do one  last post for today. If you are a LGBT person or ally who is sick of getting thrown under the bus by Democrats who only care about you equality long enough to get your votes or money, then support the Respect for Marriage Act. For me, going forward, nobody is getting a single cent (let alone a vote) unless the are in favor of full marriage equality, ending DOMA and DADT, and enacting tough anti-discrimantion laws. And that includes Barack Obama.

The following is a list of sponsors of the act, and if your representative isn't on it then you should freeze them out until they are. Ahem. Take note that Pelosi and Barney frank are not on it. No more money from the gAyTM!

Rep Abercrombie, Neil [HI-1]
Rep Ackerman, Gary L. [NY-5]
Rep Andrews, Robert E. [NJ-1]
Rep Arcuri, Michael A. [NY-24]
Rep Baldwin, Tammy [WI-2]
Rep Becerra, Xavier [CA-31]
Rep Berkley, Shelley [NV-1]
Rep Berman, Howard L. [CA-28]
Rep Blumenauer, Earl [OR-3]
Rep Brady, Robert A. [PA-1]
Rep Capps, Lois [CA-23]
Rep Capuano, Michael E. [MA-8]
Rep Castor, Kathy [FL-11]
Rep Chu, Judy [CA-32]
Rep Clarke, Yvette D. [NY-11]
Rep Clay, Wm. Lacy [MO-1]
Rep Conyers, John, Jr. [MI-14]
Rep Courtney, Joe [CT-2]
Rep Crowley, Joseph [NY-7]
Rep Davis, Susan A. [CA-53]
Rep DeGette, Diana [CO-1]Rep Delahunt, Bill [MA-10]
Rep DeLauro, Rosa L. [CT-3]
Rep Doyle, Michael F. [PA-14]
Rep Edwards, Donna F. [MD-4]
Rep Ellison, Keith [MN-5]
Rep Engel, Eliot L. [NY-17]
Rep Farr, Sam [CA-17]
Rep Fattah, Chaka [PA-2]
Rep Filner, Bob [CA-51]
Rep Grijalva, Raul M. [AZ-7]
Rep Gutierrez, Luis V. [IL-4]
Rep Hall, John J. [NY-19]
Rep Harman, Jane [CA-36]
Rep Hastings, Alcee L. [FL-23]
Rep Heinrich, Martin [NM-1]
Rep Himes, James A. [CT-4]
Rep Hinchey, Maurice D. [NY-22]
Rep Hirono, Mazie K. [HI-2]
Rep Hodes, Paul W. [NH-2]
Rep Holt, Rush D. [NJ-12]
Rep Honda, Michael M. [CA-15]
Rep Israel, Steve [NY-2]
Rep Jackson, Jesse L., Jr. [IL-2]
Rep Johnson, Henry C. "Hank," Jr. [GA-4]
Rep Kennedy, Patrick J. [RI-1]
Rep Kilroy, Mary Jo [OH-15]
Rep Kucinich, Dennis J. [OH-10]
Rep Larson, John B. [CT-1]
Rep Lee, Barbara [CA-9]
Rep Lewis, John [GA-5]
Rep Lofgren, Zoe [CA-16]
Rep Lowey, Nita M. [NY-18]
Rep Lujan, Ben Ray [NM-3]
Rep Lynch, Stephen F. [MA-9]
Rep Maffei, Daniel B. [NY-25]
Rep Maloney, Carolyn B. [NY-14]
Rep Markey, Edward J. [MA-7]
Rep Matsui, Doris O. [CA-5]
Rep McCollum, Betty [MN-4]
Rep McDermott, Jim [WA-7]
Rep McGovern, James P. [MA-3]
Rep Meeks, Gregory W. [NY-6]
Rep Miller, George [CA-7]
Rep Moran, James P. [VA-8]
Rep Murphy, Christopher S. [CT-5]
Rep Napolitano, Grace F. [CA-38]
Rep Norton, Eleanor Holmes [DC]
Rep Olver, John W. [MA-1]
Rep Pallone, Frank, Jr. [NJ-6]
Rep Pastor, Ed [AZ-4]
Rep Payne, Donald M. [NJ-10]
Rep Pingree, Chellie [ME-1]
Rep Polis, Jared [CO-2]
Rep Quigley, Mike [IL-5]
Rep Rangel, Charles B. [NY-15]
Rep Rothman, Steven R. [NJ-9]
Rep Roybal-Allard, Lucille [CA-34]
Rep Sanchez, Linda T. [CA-39]
Rep Sarbanes, John P. [MD-3]
Rep Schakowsky, Janice D. [IL-9]
Rep Scott, Robert C. "Bobby" [VA-3]
Rep Serrano, Jose E. [NY-16]
Rep Sestak, Joe [PA-7]
Rep Shea-Porter, Carol [NH-1]
Rep Sherman, Brad [CA-27]
Rep Speier, Jackie [CA-12]
Rep Stark, Fortney Pete [CA-13]
Rep Tierney, John F. [MA-6]
Rep Tonko, Paul D. [NY-21]
Rep Towns, Edolphus [NY-10]
Rep Tsongas, Niki [MA-5]
Rep Velazquez, Nydia M. [NY-12]
Rep Wasserman Schultz, Debbie [FL-20]
Rep Watson, Diane E. [CA-33]
Rep Waxman, Henry A. [CA-30]
Rep Weiner, Anthony D. [NY-9]
Rep Welch, Peter [VT]
Rep Wexler, Robert [FL-19]
Rep Woolsey, Lynn C. [CA-6]
Rep Wu, David [OR-1]

MORE NOSTALGIA.

Rainy days always get me down.

Today I wish I were at home watching my Season One box set of 227. God, I could use some Jackee right about now.

And then I found this:

JOSHUA CONKEL IS FAMOUS (KIND OF.)

Holy shit! NY Press just named MilkMilkLemonade the best Off Off Broadway show of the year!

Check it out.

I'm so honored that I don't really care that they got my name wrong. I can't tell you how much I miss the show and wish we were still doing it. Somebody PLEASE make a deal with me so I can produce it in your theater. Who do you have to give a beej to in this town? Not to toot my own horn, but the play received nearly across the board raves, we turned away audiences almost every night, it's immediately got picked up by Playscripts, is getting published in Plays and Playwrights 2010, and was called Best Off Off Broadway Show by NY Press. Please, please, please little theaters of New York.... don't you want to help the career of a youngplaywright and make money at the same time?

Also, as my friend Jeff pointed out, because of a bit role as the "mean gallerist" in this movie (in which I'm also credited incorrectly) I'm now only three degrees from Kevin Bacon!

Josh Conkel, who was in Love You Back with Elli Fordyce, who was in Playing Doctor with Michael Ciesla, who was in Taking Chance with Kevin Bacon.

I'm a "Joshua", for the record. Anyway, I'm famous! Now I can get super tan and get the lip injeections I always wanted. Just like Cojo! See you at Fashion Week!

P.S. If you ever need a mean gay receptionist, waiter, gallerist, proctologist, day care provider, grifter hobo etc. for your short play or film then I AM YOUR GAY. Seriously, I'm a pro.

TODAY IN WTF!

Elder Dallin H. Oaks, the current head of the Church of Latter Day Saints, has said that Mormons are now as discriminated against as the blacks were during the civil rights era. he's talking about the boycotts and protests that happened after Prop 8 passed in California, which was by and large the doing of the Mormon church.

"In their effect they are like well-known and widely condemned voter-intimidation of blacks in the South that produced corrective federal civil-rights legislation."

The nerve of this guy! After his church lead the way in removing the human rights from thousands upon thousands of Californians he has the nerve to play the victim all because some fags no longer patronize his cousin Billy's burrito restaurant or whatever? As if. 

The ability of Christians (and in this case Mormons) to play the victim while at the same time using their religious beliefs to batter minority communities is astounding. It's called a victim complex, Oaks. Read up on it.

Need I point out that this is the same church that didn't allow black members until 1978? This from the church whose founder had the following to say of blacks:

You see some classes of the human family that are black, uncouth, uncomely, disagreeable and low in their habits, wild, and seemingly deprived of nearly all the blessings of the intelligence that is generally bestowed upon mankind .... Cain slew his brother. Cain might have been killed, and that would have put a termination to that line of human beings. This was not to be, and the Lord put a mark upon him, which is the flat nose and black skin. Trace mankind down to after the flood, and then another curse is pronounced upon the same race-that they should be the 'servant of servants'; and they will be, until that curse is removed; and the Abolitionists cannot help it, nor in the least alter that decree.

Bitch, nuh-hunh.

Oh, and just for fun, here's an old LDS created cartoon that explains the tenants of Mormonism quite nicely.

There's a great post on Pam Spaulding's blog about this.

BONER JAMS: JOHN CASSAVETES.

Is it weird that I find 1960's era John Cassavetes incredibly sexy?

I remember having really strange feelings in my pants the first time I saw Rosemary's baby when I was just a wee thing. First when Rosemary and Guy have just moved into their new apartment and Rosemary says, "Hey. Let's make love!" John (as Guy) ravishes her amidst all their unpacked boxes. Also later, when Rosemary makes him remove his pajama top so that she can see if he has a witch's mark on his shoulder.

I just want to lie around with him and smoke cigarettes and listen to Odetta records.

I SMELL SHITTY PANTIES.

Oh, happy day! They've finally made a sequel to Jiz and the Mammograms, a youtube favorite amongst my friends. Its predecessor is comedy genius, so make sure to watch it first.

This is super NSFW or for life.

WITCHBOARD.

The Boyfriend and I were watching the Chiller network last night when an old favorite came on. I used to rent Witchboard from the Safeway by my house when I was kid, and can remember thinking that Tawny Kitane was about the most sophisticated and glamorous woman I could imagine. Couple that with my life long obsession with Ouija boards and you've got a Conkel favorite.

Oh my god, this movie is so much better as an adult. The cast is out to lunch, the script is retarded, and the whole thing feels like it was put together by a closeted homo. (It obsesses over Tawny's various outfits and keeps the two male leads shirtless throughout.) There is some wonderful photography of Lee press-on nails on ouija boards though, so there's that. Also, a new wave dyke psychic! Everybody wins!

I got inspired some took screen shots, but for technical reasons can't post them right now. I'm really sad that i wasn't fast enough to capture the amazing hat, pashmina, and onesy that Tawny Kitane wears to a funeral, but I'm only human. This is very distressing. I wanted to created a photo essay so that the whole world  could see what a  beautiful film it is, but it'll have to wait. In the mean time, please enjoy the trailer:

I promise that a photo essay is forthcoming.